Life and Death

My grandfather is going to die. I dont mean die in the sense that we are all going to die... I mean that he is going die soon, probably today. I went to see him yesterday and it was rough. Its hard seeing someone you always knew just degrade. I dont know what else to call it. When I walked into the room he was on a breathing machine with this crazy mask on... it was so sad. he just looked bad. His breathing was all irregular and it looked like he was just hurting.

I guess its hitting me so hard because i have never seen this before. Ive never really had anyone I knew well die. Its made me really think about my own mortaity and how that could someday be me.. or my parents. Its scary as shit.

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powered by performancing firefox

What a beautiful day

So its gorgeous ouside today. Days like today mke me thankful that I work out of my home (or outside on a day like today).

We are trying to usefully model a paid search campiagn(adsense, etc.) at work. For youething that sounds so easy it is remarkably hard to write a model that takes all the factors into account. To make it even harder the formula must also be relativey simple, at least conceptually.

Religion

So I am in a weird place as far as religion goes. I think I believe in God. That being said I am having trouble convincing myself that I want to live that way. I am having fun doing the stuff I am doing now. I would have to stop much of that to honestly and sincerely seek god. I dont know that I am ready for that.

So I have a sort of dilemma here. I believe in God but I dont necessarily want to live that way. It seems silly and irrational. If you believe in God why wouldnt you want to follow him and ensure your place in Heaven??

Hello

This is my first post. I think the only reason I set this blog up was to test an add on for Firefox :)